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antigwenallies Apr. 16th, 2009 08:38 am)Author: Freddy
Word Count: 3, 000 words(ish)
Spoilers: none (maybe Something borrowed)
Pairings: Jack/Ianto
Rating: Only R for swearing.
Warning: Gwen bashing (like it or lump it!)
Summary: Jack's fed up of Ianto being taken for granted and decides to teach Gwen a lesson about it.
Disclaimers: I do not own torchwood (i wish) it is simply my playground but i promise i won't vandalise
It was late. Jack had lost track of the time, as he always did when he was in the Hub. He yawned, stretched and stood up from his desk where he had dropped off. He guessed the team had already left as the only noise he could hear was the constant drip, drip dripping of a leak which had formed from the water tower. Funny, Ianto said he was going to fix that two days ago. The lack of caffeine in Jack’s system also reminded him that Ianto had only made one round of coffee that day, instead of the god knows how many he usually made.
Jack checked his pocket watch, seeing that it was nine in the evening, not as late as he’d expected but he had been asleep for three hours. The pocket watch happened to remind him of a certain stopwatch, which then led the Captain to the realisation that he and Ianto hadn’t had sex in three days! And not kissed for two days. That was way too unusual for words, not to mention downright depressing. Cross about not having his daily dosage of Ianto, or Ianto’s coffee for that matter, Jack wandered into the main area of the Hub where he suddenly froze; hand on the gun in its holster.
He could hear something. It came through loud in the eerie silence of the Hub. It wasn’t Myfanwy, she could never be quiet - she just shrieked a lot. It couldn’t be any of the technology, from the looks of things Tosh had shut them all down for the night. And please god let it not be mice or rats, Jack thought, toes curling in his shoes (even after going through years in the trenches; he still had an irrational fear of rats, though thinking about it, it was probably being in the trenches that started the phobia in the first place). But if it wasn’t any of those things...an intruder?
Finger on the trigger of his now raised gun, he followed the noise, all the way down into the archives. Not waiting to see what it was, he swung round a stack of shelves, gun pointing at whatever was making the noise.
“What the fuck?” The person yelped.
Jack was staring at Ianto who looked startled and also angry. He was sitting at a desk, a folder and its contents strewn over the wooden surface. Ianto liked to work down here instead of in the Hub during the day, as it was more peaceful in the archives. The noise Jack had heard had been Ianto humming to himself quietly while he’d been working.
“Erm, sorry Ianto.”
“What the hell are you doing Jack?” Ianto asked, blue eyes blazing.
“I thought someone had broken into the Hub.” Jack thought it sounded so stupid now.
“So you come down here all guns blazing? What if you’d have actually shot me? What would you have done then?”
“Tried to save your life? Tell you how sorry I was and that I was sorry I’d broken my promise never let anything hurt you.”
“I still think that was a pretty crappy promise, especially with this job.” Ianto could feel himself melting, he could never be angry with Jack for long, but then his face hardened. “What if you had shot me and I died?”
Jack’s mouth fell open, the hurt visible in his eyes. “I...I would have no idea what to do. I would probably throw myself off the tallest building I could find.” Jack’s turn to be angry “Why the hell would you say that Ianto? Why do you think I would shoot you and kill you?”
“Well maybe because you’ve still got the gun pointed at my head.”
“Shit!” Jack hastily put the gun back into his holster. He’d completely forgotten he’d been holding it. “I’m sorry!”
“And another answer to your question – it wasn’t that long ago that you threatened to shoot me. With Lisa? Remember? What was it? Like two years ago? Ok, maybe it was a while ago.”
“You always have to bring that up!” Jack ran a hand through his hair frustratedly, turning around to walk back up the steps to the Hub.
Ianto sensed he’d pushed it too far and stood up in a flash.
“Jack, Jack wait!” Ianto grabbed Jack’s shoulders and steered him towards the desk chair. “I’m sorry ok? I shouldn’t bring that up.”
Jack allowed Ianto to push him down into the seat.
“Then why did you?” he complained.
“I don’t know. You frightened me I guess.” Ianto was standing behind Jack his hands beginning to massage Jack’s tense shoulders. “You’re all tense.” He commented.
“Well I did nearly shoot my lover in the head.” Jack said softly as Ianto’s hands undid all the knots of tension in his back, shoulders and muscles. Ianto was good at this and Jack wasn’t able to keep his eyes open.
“And you think you’re tense?” Ianto laughed.
Ianto had a really adorable, infectious laugh. Jack loved it almost as much as Ianto’s smile. And Ianto was so good at massages it was unreal. Jack groaned, eyes still closed and his head lolled back as Ianto continued his massage, leaning forwards to move his hands down Jack’s front instead, his breath tickling Jack’s neck.
“You are so good at this.” Jack murmured.
“I’m skilled in many ways.” Ianto kissed Jack’s neck.
“You don’t need to tell me that.”
Ianto laughed again.
“Speaking of you being skilled in the bedroom...” Jack began.
“Who said I was talking about my skills in the bedroom?”
“You were implying it. Which reminds me, we haven’t had sex in three days!”
“Oh no Jack! The worlds going to end because Harkness and Jones haven’t had sex in like seventy two hours.” Ianto’s sarcasm was getting worse as he got older, Jack was sure of it.
Jack ignored him. “And we haven’t kissed in two days.” He huffed.
Ianto moved round to stand in front of him. He leaned down and captured Jack’s mouth in a sweet kiss, letting Jack deepen it. By the time they’d finished, Jack had pulled Ianto into his lap.
“That better?” Ianto asked, smirking.
“Mmm.” Jack replied, going in for another kiss. “You taste nice.” Jack said into Ianto’s lips.
Ianto pulled back and laughed. “I’ve been snacking on chocolate. I got hungry being down here most of today.”
“That’s a point...have you been down here all day today? I’ve only had one cup of your orgasmic coffee today and you know I get narky when I don’t get my daily amount of it.”
“Sorry, I’ve been busy with reports and papers.” Ianto gestured behind him, at the table Jack had pressed him up against.
“Oh, ok. You do know it’s like half nine?” Jack replied.
“What?” Ianto leapt off Jack’s knee in a second.
“Yeah, and you’ve been down here for like nine hours or something.”
“Shit. I had no idea, I lost track of time, my watch broke and it’s being repaired. I have to go, my sister was supposed to be ringing at nine!” Ianto started for the stairs but Jack, who had been peering at the work which Ianto had been slaving over all day, coughed loudly, resulting in Ianto turning round.
“Whose work is this?” Jack pointed at the papers.
Ianto glanced quickly at the work then his blue eyes looked up slowly to Jack’s angry face.
“Mine.”
“Don’t lie.” Jack snapped. “I remember you giving me all your finished reports and paperwork on Tuesday.”
“How do you remember that?” Ianto asked awkwardly.
Jack shrugged. “It was the last time we had sex. You were all pleased with yourself that you’d finished it all and I happen to remember we did it several times that night. You should be overly pleased with yourself more often...”
“Well...” Ianto blushed.
“So...whose work is this if it’s not yours?” Jack pressed, pushing the papers across the table, towards Ianto, eyes searching Ianto’s face.
“Look, she had her parents coming over tonight, she had dinner to make and...”
“Gwen.” Jack summed up, shaking his head.
“...and Rhys needed her back and she would have done it otherwise.” Ianto finished.
“Would she bollocks. What is this? Like, the twelfth time she’s made you do her work for her? Or is it more? She always promises she would have done it, or she’ll finish it and she never does.”
“No, I don’t mind doing it and she would if she...”
“For god’s sake Ianto! You do like to let people walk all over you don’t you?”
“I don’t...”
“You do though. Particularly Gwen and Owen.”
“If they need help...”
“They should come to me. Not let you do the work for them.”
“But...”
“No butts...though I do love yours.” Jack winked and stood up.
He gathered up the papers, stuffed them in Gwen’s folder and headed back up to the main Hub, taking Ianto firmly by the arm as he past him, leading him along.
“Where are we going?” Ianto asked.
“To give Gwen her work back and thank her for getting it in, in time for the weekend. I’m guessing it’s finished?” Jack glanced back at Ianto, knowing him all too well.
Ianto nodded.
“You say Gwen, Gwen’s parents and Rhys are all sitting down for dinner?”
Ianto nodded.
“Well they won’t mind us popping in for a quick visit will they?”
*
“You know I hate you sometimes.” Ianto muttered when they were in the SUV heading for Gwen’s flat.
“Yes, but I also know you can’t hate me for long.”
“Do I really let people walk all over me?”
“Erm, yeah. Hadn’t you noticed?”
“No.”
Silence for several seconds.
“Do you walk all over me then? Do you just use me for your own needs?”
“What?” Jack glanced off the road to look at Ianto, who looked slightly upset and deadly serious. “Of course I don’t Ianto.”
“Was that true even from at the beginning?” Ianto looked at him doubtfully, as though he was reading Jack’s mind.
Jack sighed. No point in lying and making it worse. “Yes, maybe in the beginning I took you being here for granted and thought you could just be an on and off thing if I needed something to take my mind off things...”
Ianto’s wince and reply of “Well, I guess I always knew it then...” was enough for Jack to rush to the next part.
“But, when I was away that time, with The Doctor, I realised how important you were to me. How much I liked being with you, that you are smart, sweet and such a lovely, hot person.” Jack glanced sideways to see Ianto smile. “That’s why I asked you on a proper date, when I got back, when I wanted to start taking us more seriously. To begin with, I had slight feelings for you even from when you first joined Torchwood but I didn’t want to be serious with anyone in case they got killed and left me picking up the pieces like always, I guess that view changed though. Now, I know not to walk all over you. I know you enjoy me kissing all over you instead.” Jack laughed as Ianto playfully punched him in the leg.
“So, do you believe all I’ve said, you don’t think I’m lying?”
“I believe you.”
“Good. So do you take me for granted and walk all over me then?” Jack smiled cheekily.
“You know the answer to that. Of course not you moron.”
“Well you do enjoy insulting me. You can be such a bully Ianto.”
“Fuck you.” Ianto grinned.
“That’s your job for later Ianto.”
“Shut up. Anyway I thought I was the one being bullied, not the one being the bully.” Ianto smirked.
“Oh yeah, we’re going to Gwen’s aren’t we? And I’m angry. You shouldn’t distract me Ianto!”
“Sorry Sir.”
“Jack.”
“Sorry Jack.”
*
“Do we have to do this now? Can’t we wait till work?”
“No. I think Gwen will learn her lesson better if we drop in now to tell her off.”
“But I don’t want to tell her off.”
“But she makes you do things for her, if you let her walk all over you, you never know, the next thing she could be doing is...I dunno...blackmailing you for sex or something.”
“Gwen? I don’t think so. She’d never do something like that!” Ianto shook the disturbing image from his mind. “I wouldn’t let her even she did.”
“No neither would I. Sorry for thinking of that. A bit sick wasn’t it?”
“A bit.”
The pair got out of the SUV and Jack began to stride towards the block of flats, Ianto lagging miserably behind.
“Come on! Keep up Ianto, what happened to you being on the peak of physical fitness?”
“I’m on an exercise break.”
“Look...” Jack stopped at the bottom of the stairs up to Gwen’s flat, waiting for Ianto (who was trying to walk as slowly as possible) to catch up. When Ianto reached Jack, he sighed. “Look Ianto if we don’t sort this now it’ll just carry on. I ignored it last time, but this time it’s just pissed me off big time. I’m doing this in your best interests. Now come on!” He grabbed Ianto’s hand and started pulling him up the stairs.
“Hey Jack, if we don’t do this now I’ll have sex with you.” Ianto was desperate to avoid this inevitably embarrassing confrontation.
“We have sex anyway.”
“The mini rift monitor has just gone off in my pocket! Let’s go!”
“Don’t lie.”
*
“Excuse me.” Gwen smiled and pushed back from the table where Rhys and her mum and dad were sitting, they’d just started eating.
She opened the door that had been harshly knocked on to find Jack standing there looking...angry? With Ianto standing behind him looking miserable.
“Erm, Jack? Ianto?”
“Can we come in? Thanks.” Not waiting for a reply, Jack pulled Ianto into the apartment past a gobsmacked Gwen who shut the door and turned to face them.
“What’s going on?” Rhys called through.
Jack smirked then pulled Ianto through to where Rhys and Gwen’s parents were sitting.
“Isn’t this cosy?” Jack started.
Gwen’s parents were staring at the men who’d just entered the room.
“Jack...” Gwen warned.
“Who are you?” Gwen’s mum asked curiously.
“Captain Jack Harkness.” Jack let go of Ianto’s hand to go forward and kiss the back of her hand. “Gwen’s boss.” He added. “And this is Ianto Jones, Gwen’s extremely handsome, loyal, but incredibly gullible work colleague. No offence Ianto.”
“None taken.”
“Oh.” Mrs Cooper was gobsmacked.
“Jack, what are you here for?” Gwen snapped, a little too viciously.
Jack whipped round.
“Nice boots.” He commented. “Been shopping?”
“Yes, I left work early to go, I did tell you.” Gwen sighed.
“You left work early to go shopping?” Mr Cooper’s face darkened, looking at Gwen.
“Well I just came to thank you for bringing this to me in time. It’s a lot of work, must have taken you ages.” Jack brandished the folder in her face.
Gwen’s eyes switched from Jack to Ianto then back again.
“Or should I say, it must have taken Ianto ages?”
Ianto turned pink as everyone looked at him. “Erm...sorry Gwen.”
“No, Ianto don’t be sorry.” Jack’s eyes had that angry storm in them that Gwen rarely saw the bad side of.
“Hey, you can’t be angry with me, I’m always worked off my feet at Torchwood!” Gwen snapped, forgetting her parents and Rhys were there.
“Yes but Gwen, you do everything but your own job at Torchwood. You avoid it like the plague.” Jack had forgotten too.
Gwen stammered but Jack cut her off by just raising his hand.
“Can I ask you something Gwen?”
“Yes.” She squeaked.
“What have you done this week at work?”
“I’ve erm...” Gwen thought. “I helped with two autopsies...”
“Owen’s job.” Jack noted.
Gwen ignored him. “Tried out some tech and worked out what it was for.”
“Tosh’s job.” Jack nodded to himself.
“I’ve erm, worked in the Tourist office...” Gwen tried, getting frustrated.
“Ianto’s job.”
“And helped lead a couple of missions.”
“My job.” Jack finished. “And?”
Silence.
“Gwen, maybe you should do your own job instead of everyone else’s. And next time, do your own paperwork.” He dropped the file on the floor. “Bring that and your own version of these reports to work tomorrow plus you can do your own paperwork plus Ianto’s next week. Understand?”
Gwen nodded eyes on the floor.
“Right Ianto, our cue to leave. Good night.” Taking Ianto’s hand he walked towards the door, Ianto mouthed ‘Sorry’ to Gwen whilst stumbling behind Jack until Jack hit him lightly on the arm to stop him.
Jack spun around at the door as Gwen followed them to the door. Rhys came too.
“Oh and Gwen, I’ll leave this retcon with you for your parents. You’re good at retconning people aren’t you? Rhys, the guests at your wedding...” Jack put the retcon on the table then he left pushing Ianto along in front of him.
The door slammed shut. Gwen stood with her mouth open, tears welling in her eyes.
“You retconned me? When?!” Rhys snapped.
Her parents came through.
“You skip work to go shopping?” Her dad sounded angry.
“You trick your colleagues into doing your paperwork for you? Look how much that lad did for you...there’s so much work here...” Her mum was flicking through the folder she’d picked off the floor. “And what’s a weevil?”
“Plus...are those two gay?” Her dad asked.
“Yes dad they are. Rhys, I’ll explain later. Mum and dad I’ll explain now, but first do you two want a drink?” She asked her parents, taking the retcon off the table.
Gwen was going to kill Jack next time she saw him! Fucking Jack Harkness.
*
“Jack you shouldn’t have done that.” Ianto gasped as the two finished their laughing fit at the bottom of the stairs.
“Yes, well...” Jack jutted out his chin. “She deserved it.”
“Thank you.” Ianto smiled.
“You’re welcome.” Jack kissed Ianto. “I’ll never get tired of that.” He grinned as he pulled away.
“I’ll make sure of it.” Ianto grinned.
“So Mr Jones...” Jack swung his arm round Ianto’s shoulders as they walked towards the SUV. “What do you say to me treating us to an Indian take away and back to your place for a movie and a snuggle on the sofa?”
“Sounds good.” Ianto laughed.
Ianto could hardly believe it but he thought he may have domesticated Captain Jack Harkness.
Fin x
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Gwen was going to kill Jack next time she saw him! Fucking Jack Harkness.
Is it me, or the message entered her brain, she felt guilty, and then completely forget about it??
I loved it. That cheered me up!
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Ianto was so adorable in this fic "I'm on an exercise break" made me laugh out loud :P
And Gwen's parents were awesome :P I'd love it if gwen actually had to deal with them and didn't get to just retcon them - that would be funny :L
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Loved that exchange - really made me laugh! ^-^
What a brilliant fic - great job! :-D
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Re: Walk all over you
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Ah well.
Excellent fic.