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antigwenallies Nov. 14th, 2007 07:45 pm)
sparklinglovers.livejournal.com posting in antigwenallies Nov. 14th, 2007 07:45 pm)Title: Murderous Adventures of the AGA
Author: Me,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sparklinglovers
Rating: R
Chapter: 1/?
Characters: Gwen Cooper, the Anti-Gwen Alliance
Summary: Gwen Cooper, Queen Whore, has lived long enough and has been with quite a lot. Now it's time for the AGA to take matters into their own hands.
Dedication: Kelly, of course, for her radtastic words and outrageously epic personality that powers her brain to write epicly epic fics; Lauren, also, for being there to provide the laughs when Kelly's not around, and also for the amazing writing skills that teach me oh-so-much; Ariel for that last murder sequence; and, of course, the AGA for existing. With this comm, my life is one step closer to being complete.
On a frigid day in November, the Anti-Gwen Alliance huddled together within their spacious closet of doom to discuss their greatest issue, and how it could possibly be resolved.
For months now this issue had been a nuisance, pestering them with bouts of boredom and infinite amounts of pain.
Their souls, they were quite sure, had blackened and withered away piece by piece.
But now, oh yes, this group of Anti-Gwen Allies were cooking up a plan inside their dark and musty closet of doom imagining the most gruesome death sequences they could muster.
(And, as if you hadn’t figured it out already, their greatest issue is one Gwen Cooper, Torchwood’s resident Drama Queen who’s biggest quality is being a whore. But I needn’t tell you that, for why are you reading such a story if you don’t know who it’s about?)
Right, then, on with the story.
“How should this slag die? Shall she be sliced into thin strips and hung from her flat’s ceiling?” said a blond member of the Alliance.
“No,” argued another, “I say we have Jack strangle her with a hair dryer cord while she’s walking on the street and she doesn’t know he’s there. It would be amusing to watch, her writhing on the ground unable to breathe.”
Another Alliance member spoke up. “I say we have the strongest man in all of Britain to push her off of a cliff. Or even Rhys could do it. He’s pissed with her enough as it is, what would he do if someone were to tip him off about her affairs?”
Yes, these Alliance members saw all of the murder possibilities from their brilliantly deranged minds flash before their eyes. All of these and the ones that were left unspoken were good ideas, mind you, but then, out of the shadows, came a soft, husky voice.
“I say we all capture her, when she’s not paying attention, and tie her up. Then, each of us takes a knife and carves the first letter of our first name onto her chest. Afterward, we must suffocate her – using bags, our own hands, something – and stick a sharp, long knife into her head, just to make sure she’s dead. Finally we cut off her arms and legs and scatter them across the globe.”
The voice stopped, and the whole Alliance was silent. Every one of the members sent a nod of approval, and the plan to murder Gwen Cooper was set into motion.
Author: Me,
sparklingloversRating: R
Chapter: 1/?
Characters: Gwen Cooper, the Anti-Gwen Alliance
Summary: Gwen Cooper, Queen Whore, has lived long enough and has been with quite a lot. Now it's time for the AGA to take matters into their own hands.
Dedication: Kelly, of course, for her radtastic words and outrageously epic personality that powers her brain to write epicly epic fics; Lauren, also, for being there to provide the laughs when Kelly's not around, and also for the amazing writing skills that teach me oh-so-much; Ariel for that last murder sequence; and, of course, the AGA for existing. With this comm, my life is one step closer to being complete.
On a frigid day in November, the Anti-Gwen Alliance huddled together within their spacious closet of doom to discuss their greatest issue, and how it could possibly be resolved.
For months now this issue had been a nuisance, pestering them with bouts of boredom and infinite amounts of pain.
Their souls, they were quite sure, had blackened and withered away piece by piece.
But now, oh yes, this group of Anti-Gwen Allies were cooking up a plan inside their dark and musty closet of doom imagining the most gruesome death sequences they could muster.
(And, as if you hadn’t figured it out already, their greatest issue is one Gwen Cooper, Torchwood’s resident Drama Queen who’s biggest quality is being a whore. But I needn’t tell you that, for why are you reading such a story if you don’t know who it’s about?)
Right, then, on with the story.
“How should this slag die? Shall she be sliced into thin strips and hung from her flat’s ceiling?” said a blond member of the Alliance.
“No,” argued another, “I say we have Jack strangle her with a hair dryer cord while she’s walking on the street and she doesn’t know he’s there. It would be amusing to watch, her writhing on the ground unable to breathe.”
Another Alliance member spoke up. “I say we have the strongest man in all of Britain to push her off of a cliff. Or even Rhys could do it. He’s pissed with her enough as it is, what would he do if someone were to tip him off about her affairs?”
Yes, these Alliance members saw all of the murder possibilities from their brilliantly deranged minds flash before their eyes. All of these and the ones that were left unspoken were good ideas, mind you, but then, out of the shadows, came a soft, husky voice.
“I say we all capture her, when she’s not paying attention, and tie her up. Then, each of us takes a knife and carves the first letter of our first name onto her chest. Afterward, we must suffocate her – using bags, our own hands, something – and stick a sharp, long knife into her head, just to make sure she’s dead. Finally we cut off her arms and legs and scatter them across the globe.”
The voice stopped, and the whole Alliance was silent. Every one of the members sent a nod of approval, and the plan to murder Gwen Cooper was set into motion.
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Love it. If I may offer my suggestion, throw her to a pack of wild, rabid dogs (with head colds) so that they would a) be really narked and b) couldn't taste her.
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Thanks! :D
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D:
IHY LAPTOP
FIRST I COME BACK AND YOU ARE GONE
AND NOW I MISSED OUT ON FC D:
but like i said when you told me about this while you were at school, and when you sent me on AIM a minute ago...
ILTHIS AND ILY :D
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i think you'll find that you're the one with the radtastic words, and the outrageously epic personality and the epicly epic fics
:D
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I know I'll lose this as I've done in the past, but... I'll bite. ILYMORE.
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