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antigwenallies Sep. 12th, 2008 04:01 pm)
jennelldhalrbj.livejournal.com posting in antigwenallies Sep. 12th, 2008 04:01 pm)Title: The Box. Part One.
Author: kampffenhoff.
Rating: PG
Size: 4KB
Summery: Jack decides to teach Gwen an important lesson.
Note: Some Gwen bashing but all in a good cause.
This is very short but I couldn't resist dividing it into two.
"Now" said Jack firmly, ''this is a VERY dangerous artifact and I DON'T want ANYONE to go near it once I've locked it away in this box, understand?"
"Why can't we go near it?'' asked Gwen, scowling slightly ''YOU'RE holding it!"
''I TOLD you" Jack snapped "it's very dangerous.''
''Why do you get to deal with it then?'' Gwen moaned.
"I know how to deal with it, you don't'' Jack explained, and carefully placed the round green object inside a metal box. He closed the box, locked it and put the key alongside the box in one of his desk drawers.
''What exactly can it do, then?'' asked Tosh, as they left Jack's office.
''You wouldn't believe me if I told you'' Jack sighed.
Gwen was irritated. "Anyone would think we were idiots'' she complained to Owen, following him as he went down to his Lab.
''Some of us BEHAVE like idiots'' Owen mumbled.
''WHAT?" Gwen shouted, still following him.
''Gwen" Owen said patiently ''unless you want to help me do an autopsy on a Weevil that exploded I suggest you go and do something somewhere else.''
Gwen scowled and stamped off. Owen sighed with relief. ''Peace, perfect peace'' he said to himself as he looked at the crushed Weevil remains on his table, ''great, mashed Weevil here we come.''
Downstairs in Jack's hole, Jack and Ianto were sitting on the bed kissing. Ianto wasn't in the mood, however.
''She'll touch it'' he complained ''I know she will.''
''Course she will'' said Jack cheerfully.
''Why did you let her know where you were putting it then?" Ianto asked ''you purposely got her interested. Why don't you just get rid of her anyway?"
''You know perfectly well why'' said Jack ''it took me ages to find her and I HAVE to keep an eye on her until she has the baby.''
''When she's 40'' Ianto moaned.
''I have to keep her and Rhys together until she has the baby'' Jack sighed ''and she can't be reconned, so the safest place for her is here.''
''No-one in their right mind would ever believe that she's your Grandmother'' Ianto muttered.
''You believe it'' Jack pointed out.
''Hmm'' Ianto murmured ''and trying to convince people that Rhys invented time travel wouldn't be easy either'' he added and laughed.
''I know it sounds weird but in MY time he's famous'' said Jack ''we have STATUES of him.''
''So why are you encouraging her to touch this thing--whatever it is?'' Ianto asked.
''She needs to learn a lesson'' Jack said ''and the effect isn't permanent, after all.''
''What DOES it do anyway?" Ianto asked.
''Oh well-----'' Jack started to laugh ''you'll soon see--.''
Upstairs in Jack's office Gwen was, even as Jack and Ianto discussed her, breaking into Jack's desk. Dealing with petty criminals had taught her a few useful skills, she thought, as the drawer sprang open. She grabbed hold of the box and eyed it greedily. ''I'll show them'' she muttered to herself as, ignoring the key completely, she expertly broke into the box. There, inside, lay the object of her desires, a round green stone like thing. She grasped it firmly in her hands and held it up to the light. It had an eerie glow. Then, as she looked at it, she realized she could see something actually inside the stone. ''Oh'' she said aloud ''it looks just like a Slug, a brown Slug.''
It did too.
Half an hour later, Jack went into his office and found the desk broken into. The open box lay on top of the desk. It was empty and there was no sign of the stone. There was, however, a large brown Slug sitting, or rather slumped, in his chair behind the desk.
''ARE YOU GOING TO JUST STAND THERE GAWPING'' the Slug shouted at him in Gwen's voice ''OR ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"
END OF PART ONE.
Author: kampffenhoff.
Rating: PG
Size: 4KB
Summery: Jack decides to teach Gwen an important lesson.
Note: Some Gwen bashing but all in a good cause.
This is very short but I couldn't resist dividing it into two.
"Now" said Jack firmly, ''this is a VERY dangerous artifact and I DON'T want ANYONE to go near it once I've locked it away in this box, understand?"
"Why can't we go near it?'' asked Gwen, scowling slightly ''YOU'RE holding it!"
''I TOLD you" Jack snapped "it's very dangerous.''
''Why do you get to deal with it then?'' Gwen moaned.
"I know how to deal with it, you don't'' Jack explained, and carefully placed the round green object inside a metal box. He closed the box, locked it and put the key alongside the box in one of his desk drawers.
''What exactly can it do, then?'' asked Tosh, as they left Jack's office.
''You wouldn't believe me if I told you'' Jack sighed.
Gwen was irritated. "Anyone would think we were idiots'' she complained to Owen, following him as he went down to his Lab.
''Some of us BEHAVE like idiots'' Owen mumbled.
''WHAT?" Gwen shouted, still following him.
''Gwen" Owen said patiently ''unless you want to help me do an autopsy on a Weevil that exploded I suggest you go and do something somewhere else.''
Gwen scowled and stamped off. Owen sighed with relief. ''Peace, perfect peace'' he said to himself as he looked at the crushed Weevil remains on his table, ''great, mashed Weevil here we come.''
Downstairs in Jack's hole, Jack and Ianto were sitting on the bed kissing. Ianto wasn't in the mood, however.
''She'll touch it'' he complained ''I know she will.''
''Course she will'' said Jack cheerfully.
''Why did you let her know where you were putting it then?" Ianto asked ''you purposely got her interested. Why don't you just get rid of her anyway?"
''You know perfectly well why'' said Jack ''it took me ages to find her and I HAVE to keep an eye on her until she has the baby.''
''When she's 40'' Ianto moaned.
''I have to keep her and Rhys together until she has the baby'' Jack sighed ''and she can't be reconned, so the safest place for her is here.''
''No-one in their right mind would ever believe that she's your Grandmother'' Ianto muttered.
''You believe it'' Jack pointed out.
''Hmm'' Ianto murmured ''and trying to convince people that Rhys invented time travel wouldn't be easy either'' he added and laughed.
''I know it sounds weird but in MY time he's famous'' said Jack ''we have STATUES of him.''
''So why are you encouraging her to touch this thing--whatever it is?'' Ianto asked.
''She needs to learn a lesson'' Jack said ''and the effect isn't permanent, after all.''
''What DOES it do anyway?" Ianto asked.
''Oh well-----'' Jack started to laugh ''you'll soon see--.''
Upstairs in Jack's office Gwen was, even as Jack and Ianto discussed her, breaking into Jack's desk. Dealing with petty criminals had taught her a few useful skills, she thought, as the drawer sprang open. She grabbed hold of the box and eyed it greedily. ''I'll show them'' she muttered to herself as, ignoring the key completely, she expertly broke into the box. There, inside, lay the object of her desires, a round green stone like thing. She grasped it firmly in her hands and held it up to the light. It had an eerie glow. Then, as she looked at it, she realized she could see something actually inside the stone. ''Oh'' she said aloud ''it looks just like a Slug, a brown Slug.''
It did too.
Half an hour later, Jack went into his office and found the desk broken into. The open box lay on top of the desk. It was empty and there was no sign of the stone. There was, however, a large brown Slug sitting, or rather slumped, in his chair behind the desk.
''ARE YOU GOING TO JUST STAND THERE GAWPING'' the Slug shouted at him in Gwen's voice ''OR ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!"
END OF PART ONE.
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ROFLMFAO!
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..........
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ok ..... I think I breathe again.......
*points up at salt shaker comment*
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