Title: A Quiet Night at Work (part 3.3)
Pairings: unrequited Jack/Gwen; Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: vague spoilers through series 2
Warnings: strong language, off-screen violence, adult themes, and gratuitous pterodactyl
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Gwen enacts her carefully constructed plan to reveal Ianto as a traitor before it’s too late for Torchwood—and for Jack.
Word Count: ~3100

Part 3.2


The others had left, and Gwen was in the hub alone. She settled at Ianto’s small desk, snug in the corner between Toshiko’s intricate computer station and the stairs to Jack’s office. Everything was so tidy, neat to a fault, like he had OCD or something. The pencils in his cup were all the same length; in his inbox, the files lined up perfectly. A shiny picture frame sat parallel to Ianto’s computer screens. An elderly couple in snappy clothes beamed at her from the frame, and Gwen felt a little frisson of guilt. Quickly, she fought it down. If Ianto’s parents hadn’t raised a traitor, then she wouldn’t have to lay a trap for him in front of their photo.

Traitor! It was almost like being in a James Bond film!

Sliding on the latex gloves she’d snagged from autopsy, Gwen removed a canister from her bag. It had been hidden there since morning, when Jack had let her into secure archives to practice alphabetizing. It was tough, but she was getting there. Jack was going to be impressed, as soon as she tricked Ianto into revealing the cure to brainwashing. She uncapped the canister, laid the lid aside, and took one of Owen’s tongue depressors, also borrowed from autopsy. Meticulously, she spread a thin film of paste across the handles of Ianto’s desk drawers. Even though it felt childish, she knew it was the best way to stop Ianto. The paste had come through the Rift, and Jack had done his nut. After he’d locked it away, he’d explained that the paste was a therapeutic tool from the future. Counselors used it to help people overcome trauma by compelling them to answer any question truthfully as soon as it was asked. Someone would think that they were just going for touch therapy, a backrub or foot massage, and wind up confronting their fears as soon as the paste came in contact with skin. Jack claimed that it was cruel and ineffective, and mentioned that most therapists who had used it wound up losing their licenses and respectability, but Gwen knew that it was the right tool for the job.

Gwen was on pins and needles all afternoon waiting for the others to come back. She tried to distract herself by playing solitaire on her computer and reading Cosmo, but the pterodactyl wouldn’t stop cawing and flapping around. Really, Jack should have shot the thing ages ago. Maybe that would be her final test before he let her back into the field: shoot the pterodactyl. It would be better than shooting fish in a barrel, Gwen thought, with a smirk at her own wittiness.

When the alarms sounded, Gwen peeked over the top of her magazine to see her teammates trudge into the hub. They were covered in grime, laughing as they tracked dirt all over the floor that she had just swept five days ago. Jumping up, Gwen started to call them on it. It was really disrespectful, she thought, for them not to acknowledge the work she’d done to keep the hub neat. Before she could get going, though, the damn bird flapped down and landed squarely in front of Ianto.

The laughter had died down at Myfanwy’s approach, but when she started licking and pecking at Ianto like a mix between a cocker spaniel and an angry parakeet, it started up again. Even more proof, to Gwen’s mind, that Ianto was exerting some control over her teammates’ minds. Who the hell found a dinosaur endearing?

“What is it, lovely?” Ianto asked the Myfanwy. “What’s wrong?”

It was almost like the dinosaur understood Ianto. She cooed, pecked at his shoulders, and made an obnoxious wailing noise, almost like a baby. Ianto clucked. “You want your tea already, don’t you, greedy girl?”

That must have been why Myfanwy had been making so much noise that afternoon! Gwen had forgotten to give her lunch! Well, she didn’t really need to feel guilty. She was a dinosaur, not a puppy; she could take care of herself. With all of her new responsibilities, she didn’t have time to feel guilty anyway. Gwen accepted firearms from her four teammates. As she crossed the hub to the gun safe, she tried to appear nonchalant. She couldn’t tip Ianto off.

“Let Owen check your stitches before you get her tea,” Jack ordered crisply.

Ianto sighed so dramatically that Gwen could hear it from the other side of the room. “Let me fetch her some chocolate to tide her over.”

“You’ll spoil her!” Toshiko called after Ianto as the young man wove through the workstations in the hub.

This was it! Her master plan would work! Quickly slamming the safe shut, Gwen turned to watch Ianto walk right into her trap. Ianto opened the top drawer of his desk to grab a candy bar. As soon as he touched the handle, he jerked his hand away.

“All right?” Jack asked.

“Um… Yes, I must have… I guess I must have spilled something,” Ianto said. Gwen watched as he set the candy bar on the corner of his desk and painstakingly wiped the paste off his hand with a nearby tea towel. But it was too late! Any skin contact at all, Jack had said, and Ianto wouldn’t be able to lie at all. He hurried back to Myfanwy and offered her a large chunk of the chocolate bar. A long, purplish tongue darted out. She snagged the candy and, with an elated caw, swallowed it. “That’s my girl.”

“Like a kid with a puppy,” Jack chuckled. If Gwen didn’t know that he’d been brainwashed, she would have felt jealous about the way Jack ruffled Ianto’s hair as Jack passed the traitor.

The others laughed. They left Ianto the pterodactyl as they returned to the tasks they’d been doing before their mission. Toshiko lost herself in a program she’d been writing to predict not only where, but when, the Rift would spit stuff out. Nearby, Owen opened the medical report he’d been working on, still trying to figure out what had made the Garfield’s blood green. Jack disappeared into his office to do whatever Jack did when he was alone.

This was her chance. She was ready. She had all of her questions planned. Her first question would probably be her only one. The most obvious vehicle for Ianto to drug everyone and brainwash them was the coffee that he brewed and served every day. “Ianto, what do you put in Jack’s coffee?”

Still more focused on spoiling the stupid pterodactyl than on his impending doom, Ianto answered, “He takes his first cup of the day black. A splash of cream in every subsequent cup, and a bit of sugar in the last cup of the day. Why?”

“Oh, no reason,” Gwen said nonchalantly. The paste must not be working its magic yet. She’d ask again later.

It turned out that later wasn’t for almost three hours. Ianto had disappeared into the Archives as soon as he’d finished feeding Myfanwy. By the time he resurfaced, Gwen had already ordered dinner from the Chinese restaurant. It was pointless, ridiculous, grunt-work the likes of which she hadn’t done since she’d left the police. By the time she had set the bags of takeout on the boardroom table, her teammates were there, too. Jack was draped carelessly over his chair at the head of the table. Ianto and Toshiko sat to his right; Owen sat on his left. They waited for Gwen to take her seat before they started to grab the meals from the pile in the middle of the table.

Now that everyone was together to hear her questions, Gwen knew that she had to proceed delicately. If the others caught onto her plan to learn Ianto’s secret, they would probably be enlisted to stop her—with whatever means necessary. Gwen already knew that Ianto didn’t draw the line at murder to get his way. Gwen kept her voice steady and her smile bright as she asked, “Things go well in the Archives, Ianto?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Gwen knew from her police training that Ianto’s answer wasn’t enough to tell her if the alien paste was working. She needed to be sure before she asked Ianto the questions she needed to ask to prove that he was plotting against Torchwood. In her heart, she knew that once everyone heard the words from Ianto’s own mouth, they would support her. “Hey, Ianto, where did you go last night?”

“Nowhere, I stayed here.”

“What did you do to Jack?”

Ianto launched into a rather graphic description of what had happened when Jack and Ianto had been alone in the hub. Gwen felt so relieved. The paste had worked! No one with a modicum of decency would have gone into that kind of detail otherwise, and Ianto was nothing if not polite (even if it was all fake). At the moment, none of her teammates knew what was happening. Jack’s self-satisfied smirk played across his gorgeous face; Owen was laughing so hard that it looked like he was choking. Immediately across from Gwen, Toshiko was staring at her food.

Bright red, Ianto mumbled, “I’m sorry—I-I have no idea why I told you any of that.”

“That was a bit strange,” Jack murmured. He was still smirking, his hands clasped over Ianto’s wrist. They still had no idea that Gwen had laid the perfect trap for Ianto. They wouldn’t notice that something was wrong until Ianto revealed his master plan! “What color is my shirt?”

Was it possible for the brainwashing to fry Jack’s brain? Ianto had obviously gotten control of Jack before Owen and Tosh, so maybe Jack had already stated to go crazy. Gwen fought back the rising despair. It was looking more and more like she was too late, like Jack would never be the same again. Maybe he obsessed over old lovers, and maybe he’d even obsess over Ianto for awhile, even knowing that Ianto had betrayed them. But he would still be Jack, a real-life superhero—unless Ianto’s stupid brainwashing technique, whatever it was, had turned Jack’s brain to mush.

“Blue,” Ianto said, and judging from his tone of voice, he wasn’t expecting the question any more than Gwen.

“Tell me it’s green.”

“It’s not, though.”

“Humor me, Ianto.” Jack’s voice was so firm that Gwen felt her entire body shiver at the authoritative tone. Rhys could never pull that off.

“Your shirt’s… blue,” Ianto whispered. If Gwen didn’t know that he was a traitor to Great Britain and Torchwood, she would have felt sorry for him. He had clasped his hands on the table so tightly that his knuckles were white, and the blush that had risen when Ianto had told all about his night with Jack had disappeared. Even if the others hadn’t figured it out, Ianto must know that his cover was about to be blown. “J-Jack…”

Quietly, Jack said, “Tell me you’re fifty years old.”

“I’m twenty-four,” Ianto whispered. His free hand latched onto Jack’s. Gwen wondered if Ianto might be trying to restrain Ianto in case Jack had really figure it out. “Something’s really wrong.”

He was a great actor, she had to give Ianto that. “Stop eating,” Jack snapped, although it wasn’t necessary. Toshiko and Owen had dropped their food as soon as they had started to realize that something was wrong with Ianto. “Tosh, analyze Ianto’s food. Owen, full blood work. Ianto, as soon as you’re done with Owen, go up to my office. Gwen will keep you company.” For a moment, the competent captain melted away, became a concerned lover, and Jack brushed his lips across Ianto’s forehead. Gwen couldn’t help smiling. She knew that in a few hours, Jack would never look at Ianto that way again. “You’ll be okay.”

“Okay?” Ianto said. Any shred of sympathy flew out the window. Ianto was getting hysterical, and it was pathetic. Just because he wasn’t getting his own way, he was going to act like a toddler. “Jack, how can I possible be okay? If we don’t stop this, I’ll never be able to leave the hub. Never. All anyone will have to do is ask what I do for a living, and I’ll commit treason.”

“You won’t commit treason. We’ll fix this.” Jack dropped another, softer kiss on the top of Ianto’s head, and Gwen wondered if jealousy could actually turn a person green. She knew that it wasn’t Jack’s fault. She didn’t blame Jack at all, but she was getting tired of waiting for Jack to figure things out.

Gwen decided that it was time to act. Who knew the next time the whole team would be together? They seemed to think that there was a threat to Ianto, and between their genuine desire to help people and whatever program Ianto had subjected them to, they wouldn’t rest until he was cured. Drawing a deep breath, Gwen raised her voice to be sure that Ianto heard her. “What’s your special plan for Torchwood, Ianto?”

Dazed, Ianto answered. He really couldn’t help himself! Her plan was working! Gwen did a few mental cartwheels as Ianto mumbled, “You mean the support network? It’s not that special, Gwen. I didn’t think that Jack was going to tell anyone about it until I had the Prime Minister’s permission.”

Jack shrugged. “I didn’t tell anyone.”

Gwen worked even harder to reveal Ianto’s plot. She knew that he had contrived a code, like all spies. She knew that she could crack it, though. She was a trained investigator, after all. “What do you mean, support network?”

“I mean—it’s for—For, you know, for the twenty-seven of us. I’ve been compiling a list of contact information, and of therapists and physicians in UNIT who are equipped to deal with the sorts of reactions we’ve started to see among the survivors. It’s tricky. Too many people went to ground after the battle. They had the resources and the contacts they needed to hide from Torchwood. They don’t all know that Cardiff isn’t like London was, and those who do think that Jack’s a raving nymphomaniac, so they’d probably hide from him anyway.”

Temporarily sidetracked—brainwashed into seeing Ianto’s brilliance even in the most mundane activities, like making a damn list—Owen asked, “I’m on the list, right?”

“Yeah, trauma victims should flock to you for support,” Ianto quipped. He rolled his eyes. “Of course you’re on the list.”

Something was wrong. She must not have worded the question precisely enough. “Ianto, you might as well drop the act. I know that you’re brainwashing everyone. What were you planning to do once we were all under your control?”

“Wh-what?” Ianto whispered. Wild-eyed, he turned toward Jack. “I haven’t brainwashed anyone except for the people you’ve ordered me to retcon. I don’t want Torchwood to be under my control.”

“Jack, you can’t believe that Ianto would…” Toshiko said weakly.

Owen snarled inarticulately and stomped off. Gwen heard him banging around in the hub, but he always stomped about when he was upset. Maybe it was his way of processing information. It was always hard to peg Owen, but Gwen felt pretty sure that by the time he’d finished his fit, he’d be on her side.

That paste wasn’t working as well as Gwen had expected it to. Maybe Ianto had to believe that he was doing something wrong to confess to it? She would have to tweak her questions, and quickly, since now the others knew that she was trying to reveal Ianto’s treachery!

“That’s a serious charge, Gwen. What makes you think Ianto’s brainwashed us?” Jack asked. He didn’t move his hands from Ianto’s, but Gwen imagined that she saw his grip tighten. If Jack was trying to restrain Ianto, then he must believe Gwen.

What a relief! Gwen had known that Jack, even through his brainwashing, would be the first to trust her. Toshiko was still clearly on Ianto’s side, rubbing his shoulder like a mother soothing a baby. On the other hand, since she couldn’t hear Owen stomping around anymore, she figured that he had started to accept the truth.

“Well,” she said, ready to lay out her thought process to Jack and Tosh, “It’s pretty clear. You’ve all started to worship him. I mean, Tosh has been teaching him to use her computer programs. Owen has all but stopped teasing him, I mean, any more than the rest of us, and Jack, of course… Not to mention that when we had that incident the other week, everyone seemed to think that it was my fault, even though Ianto broke protocol. He’s blinding us to his faults so that no one will notice when he puts his plan into action. He’s taking over Torchwood.”

“Jack, please,” Ianto whispered. His hands tightened convulsively around Jack’s. Tears were welling in his eyes. This plan was going to work!

Gently hushing Ianto because, as tired as he must have been of all the lies, he couldn’t be cruel, Jack turned back to Gwen. “So, the reason that we’ve been giving Ianto more responsibilities, and the reason I’m sleeping with him, and the reason you were held accountable for shooting him is that he’s brainwashed us into liking him.”

“I think so, yes.”

“But you’re… immune?”

“He just hasn’t gotten to me yet.”

“He got to me last November, but he hasn’t gotten to you yet?” Jack asked incredulously. With a heavy sigh, he turned to Ianto. This was it! Jack had accepted Gwen’s theory, and he would stop Ianto from doing anything disastrous that would endanger lives and destroy the organization that Gwen had sacrificed so much of her life for. She listened with bated breath as Jack addressed Ianto: “That’s not very good brainwashing initiative, Ianto. I’m afraid I’m going to have to put a note in your file.”

Gwen sputtered as she felt the floor drop from under her. No one was taking her accusations seriously—Jack was making jokes at her expense! She’d planned everything out! Ianto might not have admitted his plot yet, but she’d barely started an interrogation. It wasn’t fair! What was she going to do?

Before Gwen could think of any adjustments to her plan, she felt a stinging pain in the side of her neck. Suddenly exhausted, she felt herself slumping in her chair. The last thing she saw before her eyes fluttered shut was Owen, standing over her with a syringe in one hand and the canister of alien paste in the other.

*

Thanks for reading! I’ll appreciate any feedback you have a chance to offer.

Tags:

From: [identity profile] thi13enthghost.livejournal.com


Awesome story, I thought of Liar Liar a few times which made me laugh.

I hope they lock her in the cells now she's unconcious.

From: [identity profile] hloke.livejournal.com


OMG this was amazing! And kinda like watching a traffic accident sloooooooowly happening... Thanks! :)

From: [identity profile] gogo-didi.livejournal.com


Brilliant! Poor Ianto though, bless 'im

From: [personal profile] jo02


I hope you're not implying this is the end of the story now?

*frowns at you severely*

From: [identity profile] xxtorchmexx.livejournal.com


that was incredibly funny! I loved how you managed to portray Gwen managing to dig herself into a deeper hole with every word! Brilliant job, though I hope you haven't finished it yet!

From: [identity profile] many-souls.livejournal.com


Very enjoyable, as always!

She was a dinosaur, not a puppy; she could take care of herself. ...and have Gwen Cooper for lunch. Pity, Ianto spoiled her probably to much to accept that kind of food...

Thank you!

From: [identity profile] amythest-n-ice.livejournal.com


*g* can't wait for the next part, but the link at the top for the previous part doesn't seem to work :(, so I'm not sure if I'm all caught up or not.

From: [identity profile] amythest-n-ice.livejournal.com


Works now, thanks, all caught up and eagerly awaiting the next part.

From: [identity profile] plotbunniesinc.livejournal.com


*does the happy update dance*
Woo-hoo! You've written more!
Still loving this to pieces, and I hope the next chapter comes out as soon as this one did!

From: [identity profile] owner-of-dooom.livejournal.com


I love this because it seems so believable. They want to believe in Gwen but she's too stupid and self absorbed to notice anything not relating to her or her "relationship" with jack. It's so great! Looking forward muchly to the next chapter!

From: [identity profile] chester-kat.livejournal.com


LOL

I know this is incredibly late in commenting but i love this story. Gwen bashing is so much fun.

*when Jack had let her into secure archives to practice alphabetizing*

Best line ever

From: [identity profile] hohaiyee.livejournal.com

In the light of Children of the Earth


Um, don't read this comment if you haven't seen it yet, though if you haven't see it yet maybe it'll do you good to never see it because it sucks.


......


.....when Ianto said that he might never leave the hub, I thought
1. Good, stay away from field work and live long Ianto!
2. Oh wait, the hub blew up even though it's crazy that they don't have bomb detectors at the entrance.
.