Kiliing Gwen

[msjaybee.livejournal.com]

On a previous thread, posts turned to how we would kill Gwen.  This, I believe, deserves a thread of it's own.  So, how would you do it?  How would you kill Gwen?  Personally, I would drop RTD on her from a great height, thus sealing the fate of both of them.  You, no doubt, have very different ideas.....!

Comments

[milady-dragon.livejournal.com]

I hear that Acme is having a sale on their really big ray guns.

[aeshna-cyanea.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Acme, I wonder if the Rift occasionally picks up an anvil or two...

[kamiandcat.livejournal.com]

Hm, guess giving her a pair of nice concrete heel and dropping her into the bay is to obvious because some German tourists already overheard that plan next to the shrine....

Well, she "felt" so much for that poor alien in the Mariana Trench I would see let's go back and drop her off there.

3 year old Anwen shoves her in front of the bayline bus because she had enough of her darling mother?

Ianto locks her up in one cell with the newest weevil by "accident". "Gwen? No haven't seen her since yesterday- that new weevil acts weird though. Hasn't shown a tiniest bit of interest of the food I brought it this morning. Anyway. Coffee, Jack? Around of naked hide and seek in the archives?"

Myfanwy gets all the bleats coming out of Gwen's mouth wrong and mistakes her for a sheep.

By the way, I just thought, maybe it was just I typo and she was meant to be the bleating instead of the bleeding heart of Torchwood all along....

[sarahjane6.livejournal.com]

No...what you mentioned works good for me. Killing two birds with one stone so to speak.

Will there be video, that's a performance I could watch Gwen in, I'll bring the popcorn.

[kcracken.livejournal.com]

But... since RTD really IS Gwen, then just killing Gwen should suffice both, right?

[sandysan2013.livejournal.com]

I think she should probably be killed in an attack by one of the friends or family of some innocent person whose death was the result of one of her mistakes. Seasons one through three are replete w/examples of her destructive talents and those on the receiving end of those talents deserve some justice.

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

I'd vote for Nikki Bevan.

[littleatem.livejournal.com]

I would put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool and tell her the fate of the world relies on her telling me what it smells like.
Either that or tell her to go into the cave, don't mind the tracks or the giant white light coming towards her.

[burningtorch.livejournal.com]

ROFLOL! That's brilliant! XD XD XD

[jennelldhalrbj.livejournal.com]

Just give her 8 kids including Triplets, a Husband who doesn't know where his sock drawer is and 4 cats who run up curtains.

"Jen, where are my socks?"

Me, feeding Octavia, "Sock drawer."

Husband "what?"

5 year old "Mama, Herman's chasing a Frog in the utility Room."

12 year old "why are my shoes in the oven?"

3 year old, crying, "Tink's fallen down the Toilet and he's screaming."

Aimee-Rose "oh fuck".

Since Gwen believes in shooting huge guns while holding a baby she wouldn't survive this----

[kamiandcat.livejournal.com]

You know if my Dad never get's grandkids I'll blame it on you. ;)

[mscatmoon.livejournal.com]

Ok, here's my idea: post-COE a grieving Jack can't help himself and he keeps going back in time to be with Ianto on the nights he goes home alone. Problem is, each time he retcons him. It turns out that the theory in TKKS was correct and repeated exposure can make people a bit crazy (but the effects wear off after awhile). Ianto, in a moment of retcon-induced clarity does what should have been done day one and kills Gwen. Thereby changing the timeline somehow so that he doesn't die in COE and neither do Tosh & Owen. Because we know it's all Gwen's fault. What a lovely world it would be!

Alternately, due to her remarks about how she felt over her co-workers dying and that wonderful moment of clarity of Jack's in MD when he expressed his true feelings for her (something about ripping the skin off her face, wasn't it?) I'd have her become an enemy to Jack and we could have a few episodes of that before he finally catches her and kills her.

[pitac89.livejournal.com]

Might I point you to our meme. These are some nice prompts.

[kamiandcat.livejournal.com]

She FINALLY gets to snog Jack...shame really that he was wearing John Hart's lipgloss...

[irishjantogirl.livejournal.com]

As a 90's child who grew up watching Animaniacs; I'll go for the classic; dropping an anvil on her head. Worked every time for Yakko, Wakko and Dot

[jennelldhalrbj.livejournal.com]

She could always be eaten by a giant alien frog---however, that would probably give the frog indigestion so maybe falling off a high building would be kinder as long as she didn't fall on anyone---we could follow her falling with the camera and then have a long lingering close up on the remains--two bulging eyes and a couple of teeth---

[jennelldhalrbj.livejournal.com]

Apologies for the above--my 5 year old just showed me a drawing he did of the man being eaten by the shark that was in the news---

[kassy2.livejournal.com]

TW jumped the shark two series ago......
I vote she just falls down a giant alien toilet.
Screaming.
I like that idea, so simple a child could have thought of it.
Oh....wait.....

My ways...

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

... aka The Wishverse (http://otherworlds-lib.livejournal.com/tag/wishverse). Yes, I know it's a cheap thing with the shameless self-promotion, but hey! I've killed the Torchwood harpy approximately 11 times in those 9 episodes, and it was every time a direct result of her own stupidity, so perhaps patting myself on the shoulder is acceptable inthis particular case... ;)

Re: My ways...

[aeshna-cyanea.livejournal.com]

Having her death be the result of her own actions/behaviour is the best way for her to die, in my opinion. It's simply somehow more satisfying, plus none of the other characters have to be guilty of either stupidity/carelessness or outright malice, both of which can very easily be an out of character moment.

[jsks.livejournal.com]

i say go with the classics and you will never go wrong. we could an alien drop a house on her.

[dr-doomsduck.livejournal.com]

Fire ants and honey, just, fire ants and honey.

[kamiandcat.livejournal.com]

Oh I remember that from CSI nice one!

I also saw a nice documentation about what they did for entertainment in old Rome... maybe she can get rifted there? My favorite is to sew her into some animal skin too feed her to the lions...

Followed by:
Tardis *showing up in the middle of the Colosseum*
Doctor *jumping out, followed by Jack and Ianto*
They all *stop*
Doctor: "Oh...too late."
Jack: "Ugh"
Ianto: "What a MESS!"
Doctor: "Well, while we're already traveling... wanna see Barcelona? The planet-not the city."
They all hurry back into the Tardis, which takes off,...

[h3llfrz.livejournal.com]

I had a dream once where Jack was showing the team a really neat trick where he'd catch a dart with his teeth, Gwen tried it and the dart flew right through her massive gap and killed her dead. I think that would be a fitting death.

Gwen: Ha! That's not so impressive! I can do anything Jack Harkness can do and do it better! Throw it here Owen.

Ianto: Gwen...

Gwen falls dead.

Owen: Oops! Oh well best start on that autopsy then. Give us a coffee teaboy.

[burningtorch.livejournal.com]

I have debated this topic at great length with one of my friends and we came to the conclusion that even if you tried to bury her in concrete, Rusty would write in a scene where Anwen cries and shrieks at just the right frequency to crack the concrete and Mummy Dearest walks away unscathed despite the fact that, according to all laws of physics it is impossible and makes no sense, but that's never bothered him before. He always comes up with something stupid at 11:59 that saves her. [Eyeroll]
It has proved frustrating, even if I tried to kill her with a hammer (and I've got a big heavy hammer), he'd write in a scene where the hammer just bounces off her head and flies out my hand and hits a cyclist off their bike. Another innocent who'd have been injured as a result of Gwen. :-(

Sorry, I'm not trying to put a wet blanket on it. If you ask me this thread is long overdue and I've sent it to my friend, she'll like it very much. Very interesting thought experiment, thank you for putting it up msjaybee; by the way, I love your idea. (^_^)

[life-downsized.livejournal.com]

I vote the Doctor lands the Tardis on her by "accident".

[kamiandcat.livejournal.com]

Why oh why does that make me smile and think of the wicked witch of the west... :) I really like that thought!

[jennelldhalrbj.livejournal.com]

Dan, Harry, Anna-Louise and I all made suggestions on how to kill Gwen. We were having an interesting discussion about it.

Here are some suggestions:

Dan: Make her watch "the only way is Essex" over and over again.
Harry: She could fall in a vat of Hydrochloric Acid.
Anna-Louise: What about letting her get eaten by piranhas?
Me: Turn into the incredible shrinking woman and get eaten very slowly by a spider after spending some days caught in its web.

[kamiandcat.livejournal.com]

Listening to "Submission" again... can't we simply torpedo Gwen out into the Mariana Trench and hire Carlie instead?

[kassy2.livejournal.com]

Gwen would think TOWIE was good!
She would love it, it is her life.....
The Hydrochloric Acid and the Piranhas just make me remember how easy it was for Farscapes creators to bring Aeryn and John back after they had been atomised, so it is going to have to be more permanent than either- how about trapping her in an incinerator- oh, been done, right?
How about gassing her- ah, yes, slight problem there, too.
OK, I do like the Tardis squishing her, and then firmly refusing to move when ordered to do so, on the grounds that RTD is no longer her creator and she never listens to the Doctor anyway, and River and Amy (to whom she would listen) don't actually want her to move because Ianto sent them some CCTV form the Hub of Gwen talking....yeah, just talking, that should be enough.
Every time she opens her mouth another little gem comes out.
Any time I feel my resolve slackening I just think of how much Gwen liked her co-workers dying, and just how subtly she expressed the liking....