I am speechless...

[blucougar.livejournal.com]

Well, not quite. But words momentarily failed me.

I've just seen an official promo clip for Miracle Whip, and whilst it looked interesting (ie, more Jack in the clip than Gwen), there were two bits that had my stomach rolling.

First, does everyone remember that charming little sound byte where Eve Myles said she could picture Gwen with a gun in one hand and baby in the other? Guess what. We get a scene with Super Trooper Cooper firing a gun out of a broken window with one hand, whilst holding baby Williams in the other in the most blatant show of disregard for child safety I've seen since Steve Irwin held his baby son within snapping distance of a crocodile whilst feeding it.

The other vomit-inducing moment? Gwen, perched atop a jeep, or some sort of vehicle, firing a rocket launcher or a bazooka at a helicopter and blowing it out of the sky.

I am going to go now and find a corner to curl up in and weep.

Comments

[wounded-melody.livejournal.com]

Poor kid is going to be deaf...

[dr-doomsduck.livejournal.com]

To be fair, at least Steve knew what he was doing! I saw it, and the very first thing that came to mind was ""That kid is a) not real and b) not 15 months by a long shot." Also, for those who are going to watch it...don't get to attached to Rex, he seems to get quite deadly wounded in the series.

Also note, these are the first images we get of Gwen holding her own baby.

[madbottoms.livejournal.com]

The poor kid looks evil - did you check out the eyes? And yes looks a little younger than a toddler.

But it was good to see a bit of Jack.

[jennelldhalrbj.livejournal.com]

The baby is one of those you can buy which is made to look like a real baby. Some of them even have breathing things fitted in them.

As for how to raise babies, I am an expert and in my humble opinion anyone who does this while holding a baby should be in court and have the child removed from their care into a place of safety.

However, this is Starz the people who make Spartacus. It's aimed at young males. It will feature, no doubt, lots of running, shooting and special effects of things being blown up. Not my sort of thing and Dan prefers comedy or sport.

As for Jack, for an immortal he seems to have aged somewhat.

[chewynutter.livejournal.com]

(http://s806.photobucket.com/albums/yy341/sonic_tangobat/?action=view&current=2luwcbd.gif)

[charie-caphine.livejournal.com]

Presumably, the baby cannot come to harm anyway because of the titular 'miracle'. Not that I don't agree about that shot only working as self-parody (not much hope that's the intent, though).

I wonder about Jack's age. If we are meant to notice that the actor has aged 2 years, then probably about 140 must have passed for Jack. Will they mention that time at all?..

[dr-doomsduck.livejournal.com]

Presumably, the baby cannot come to harm anyway because of the titular 'miracle'.

Well yeah, but they were planning on solving the whole miracle thing, so the baby would still be wounded and die eventually anyway...Maybe RTD is going for another round of kill the kiddie, I mean this IS supposed to be darker than CoE and what could be darker than killing a 10 year old, I KNOW!!! A 10 month old!

My best guess is nooooooo, they will definitely not be mentioning the odd 140 years Jack has spend grieving, because that would be hard to write and 14 year old G.I. Joe's that are watching it couldn't care less about it. The trailer certainly doesn't make him seem like a broken man. Hell, they wouldn't even do a part of his journey in the radio plays. Instead we get Suzie 'dead is dead' Costello for another encore.

[bk_forever]

*shudders* I wasn't going to watch anyway, but now I just feel like crawling into a hole and staying there until it's all over =(

I'm the lucky one, folks!

[wiseheart.livejournal.com]

Starz doesn't allow the trailer to be played in my country. This is actually the first time that living under a rock beyond what used to be the Iron Curtain proves to be an advantage.

[aviv-b.livejournal.com]

See if it were me, I'd be getting the kid out of the way. Hell if it were my cat, I'd be pushing him under something forcefully. But not our Gwen - no kid of hers is going to hide under the bed when the shit flies.

[kassy2.livejournal.com]

What do you mean "IF" it were the cat??
Mind you no self respecting cat would live anywhere near BC (Bloody Cooper)

[mscatmoon.livejournal.com]

Yes, we've been joking/complaining about that ever since the comments about the "baby in one hand, gun in the other" and yes it has come to pass. Not that I'm surprised, that's the sad part. If it was my baby I would get it as far away from the violence as I could, making sure it was as safe as I could make it. I wonder where Rhys was, since I can't believe he'd be okay with that. Do these people hate children or what? I wonder if Gwen will have to sacrifice her baby to save the world like Jack did Steven? Actually, someone elsewhere said the baby looked weird or something to that effect... I immediately concluded that Gwen probably had an affair with an alien and the kid isn't Rhys's. ;) I'm sure there will be plenty more nauseating content ahead. Glad I'm not watching it, but I'm sure this comm is going to be very busy when the show airs. We can count on Gwen to give us plenty to rant about, super-awesome character that she is.

[mscatmoon.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, just one more thing. Gwen. Is. Not. Fit. To. Be. A. Mother. Poor kid.

[sarahjane6.livejournal.com]

Didn't watch the trailer, trying to preserve my sanity. But, I did catch a still shot a couple weeks ago. Gwen with large gun, Jack with an unpleasant look on his face. I imagine he was thinking 'I came back to earth and she's still living, SHIT'.

[captainjuniper.livejournal.com]

I wont look at the clip...I wont look Mircle Whip...no no no...thats just bad and evil...and no..I don't like it at all..*sits in a corner and rocks back and for*

[chryssalys]

So very much with you here.

[weis07.livejournal.com]

I didn't think they'd actually go for "baby in one hand, gun in the other" but they did. Well... it's self-parody, as it was said here.
Yes, we know that the kid is safe but it doesn't made the image any less offensive.
Also notice that considering the amount of shooting and manhandling Gwen is definitely the main action hero there. In previous seasons she hit only Jack (if I remember correctly) but now some unfortunate defenseless girl got one of Gwen' hook too. Poor girl, what did she do to piss Gwen off? Said something she didn't like? Plus the bazooka and some explosion in the end behind Gwen... See - action hero))) Interesting evolution for "the heart and soul of Torchwood, defender of the human race". Will there be any human race after Gwen is done defending it? And who will suffer in the process?

[dr-doomsduck.livejournal.com]

That my dear, was not just an unfortunate defenseless girl, THAT was the fabulous Dichen Lachman, who played Sierra in Dollhouse wonderfully and who would probably make for a much more interesting character if given the chance instead Bazooka Cooper. As is, she's playing a CIA agent who is...wait a minute, wasn't the CIA supposed to be on their side, what with Rex and that chick whose name I keep forgetting...way to make friends Gwennypoo!

[kassy2.livejournal.com]

Strange how none of these guns have any recoil whatsoever.....
especially the rocket launcher.
The baby would be deaf at the very least, quite possible brain damaged and for sure traumatised.
Actually, since she has BC as a mother she is definitely traumatised

[irishjantogirl.livejournal.com]

we have to remember that this child would be the child of Gwen Cooper and therefore very likely to have genetically inherited her ability to survive everything unscached. I might risk it but then again Ive always had this thing about scaring the living crap out of myself and giving myself nightmares

[stlscape.livejournal.com]

We get a scene with Super Trooper Cooper firing a gun out of a broken window with one hand, whilst holding baby Williams in the other in the most blatant show of disregard for child safety I've seen since Steve Irwin held his baby son within snapping distance of a crocodile whilst feeding it.


At least Irwin was *very* experienced around crocodiles and so would know when to chuck the baby to someone else. Gwen...not so much. (Here, let me hold the baby up for you, so it's easier to hit her when you fire in through the window!) And that baby must be her and Rhys's second child because there's no way that's the baby she was barely pregnant with in Sept 2009 (per newspaper in COE).

Gwen, perched atop a jeep, or some sort of vehicle, firing a rocket launcher or a bazooka at a helicopter and blowing it out of the sky.

Because it's SO easy to hit a moving target FROM a moving vehicle/target, AND, she's had SO much practice with rocket launchers while living in the wilds of Wales. (On the other hand, with the arsenal of weaponry she'd collected in her house, it's conceivable that the weapon was hers. Although I was under the impression that it would be a bit more difficult to obtain tons of weaponry in the UK than in the US. Especially since her source, the Hub's armoury, was blown to bits. Obviously, I'm wrong.) I still get reeeeeelllyyy twitchy when she then lowers the weapon to point it at Rhys and the baby. Aaargh!

I also aargh at the clip of Jack and the blonde chick falling several stories to their deaths introduction in what looks like a fountain. When you fall all flaily, and aren't actually in diving position, hitting water *hurts*, and falling from that height and surviving unharmed would IMHO require several feet of water. I won't even get into not drowning in water deep enough to drown in after you've hit the surface of water at high speed and been knocked unconscious unless you're Gwen.. Or, apparently, blondie.

[ruby-took.livejournal.com]

Gwen, perched atop a jeep, or some sort of vehicle, firing a rocket launcher or a bazooka at a helicopter and blowing it out of the sky.

Ehh... What the hell happened to the Torchwood that Jack said he'd rebuild in the Doctor's honour? You know, that bloke who hates guns!

[weis07.livejournal.com]

Oh, but that's new, better Torchwood now! They waited a hundred years for Gwen Cooper to appear and change Torchwood for the better! And this is what they got. Isn't it marvellous?
Somehow I think the Doctor would be unimpressed by this "improved" version.

[satanassa.livejournal.com]

Don't cry, Blucougar! We should all laugh scornfully at this pile of dreck.

[blucougar.livejournal.com]

I tried laughing, and ended up gagging. I may need to indulge in some serious Gwen-bashing to recover from this latest insult to the senses.

[syien_island]

*groans* My head hurts. I've jumped the Torchwood ship long ago, but I never get tired of the Gwen!Fail, especially now with Miracle Whip just around the corner. Bleh.

[jennelldhalrbj.livejournal.com]

According to my info Gwen punches a female because she says Gwen is English. She corrects her and then punches her. Over at Gallifrey they spent some time trying to convince me that the poor female must have really done something else to piss Gwen off. I haven't logged in there since.

As for the show in general, everyone I have discussed it with thinks it sounds like rubbish and the BBC haven't even set a day for it to be shown in the UK yet. Perhaps they think it sounds like rubbish too.

[irishjantogirl.livejournal.com]

"She says Gwen is English. She corrects her and then punches her."

Over reaction much? Then again, being a child of the Peace Process of Norn Iron I know about certain things which can and cant be said/worn/done unless I want a beating but to have someone flip out that much is a bit stupid. Also, can't believe I'm saying this, but isn't it offensive to the English to insinuate that Gwen is English?