Nature

[haces222.livejournal.com]

 Title: Nature
Author: haces222
Summary: The team go camping
Pairing: Jack/Ianto  Tosh/Owen      Gwen

Authors notes: Inspired from the episode Countrycide a collaboration between myself and likestowritewritten for the Gwen bash prompt table

The black SUV winding it's way through the streets of Cardiff had a dark, depressing yet mysterious air about it. It's inhabitants on the other hand just had the dark depressing part, well the four passengers did. It had been decided by their boss that a 'team bonding' exercise was needed and what better way of bonding than on a camping trip.

"I'm sure I mentioned this last time, Harkness, but I don't do the countryside."

Looking in the rear-view mirror at the doctor, squashed between the two women on the back seat. Jack replied, "Camping is great for team bonding, there's nothing like getting back to nature to separate the men from the boys." Owen snorted at this comment and returned to his staring sullenly off into space.

Tosh, spotting what she felt was a loophole said, "I'm not a boy and neither is Gwen so why do we have to be here?"

Repeating what Jack obviously had adopted as his new mantra, replied, "Camping is great for team bonding and you two are part of the team."

Ianto nodded and murmured, "Yeah and we all remember how well camping last time went, I don't think I'll ever look at a side of beef the same way again."

Jack smiled slightly and waited for the last member of his team to put her two cents worth in. And bang on schedule, "Why can't we have team bonding somewhere more comfortable? maybe with a bar."

Jack laughed, "You'll see, it'll be fun."

As he left the outskirts of Cardiff and continued to drive he was soon miles away from civilization. The further away from all things civilized the deeper the depression got and the bigger Jack's grin became.

Finally after what seemed like hours, Jack pulled off of the road and stopped at a place that could only look at home on the set of a scene from 'Sleepy Hollow'.

Climbing out of the SUV the team gazed around with identical looks of horror at the thought of spending the night in such a god-forsaken place.

Barely suppressing a shudder, Gwen murmured, "That bar is looking better and better." With her team-mates nodding in agreement.

"It's not too bad, a little gloomy perhaps."

Owen stared at Jack, "You're kidding, this place looks worse than the London Dungeon, I keep expecting to see corpses hanging from the trees." That comment earned him several glares followed by nervous looks around.

Clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention, Jack said, "Okay guys we need to unload the tents and begin setting up camp." Almost as if a whip had been cracked across them, Tosh, Ianto, Owen and Gwen snapped into action, as Jack watched Owen and Ianto set about collecting each of the tent's out of the SUV and Tosh collecting all of the pegs and attachments and Gwen directing all of the work.

As the team of three moved towards the third and final tent. Jack who'd not only been watching the team working side by side, but had also been keeping a covert eye on the fourth member, cleared his throat. "Okay guys, that's enough for now, let's take a short break."

On hearing the words 'short break' Gwen looked up, and immediately sauntered over. Taking the seat closest to Jack she made herself comfortable and waited for the rest of the team to arrive. Tosh and Owen took the seats opposite. Ianto after placing the coffee he'd made back at the Hub, before everyone, after glancing briefly at Gwen, who was seated in his place, sat carefully on Jack's lap.

Finding himself with a lap full of Ianto, Jack smiled and after shifting the Welshman a little for comfort, reached for his coffee and said. "Welcome, to how to work as a team, Harkness style. Your mobiles won't work out here, and I've rerouted the rift alarm through my wrist com. As long as nothing happens back in Cardiff, we'll be here for a day or two."

"Unless it slipped your notice, Jack, we already work as a team."

"That is where you're wrong, Gwen, not all of you are working side by side. You need to learn to rely on each other, you're all equal members of the team, all important!"

As Jack continued to speak about the importance of the team, Gwen gazed around at each team member, pursing her lips slightly at Jack's easy acceptance of not only Ianto's action but also the informality of Tosh and Owen's treatment of him. He was their boss. He should act like their boss. Even Ianto had recently forgone his deferential 'sir' and Jack didn't seem to mind. She on the other hand had a right to call Jack by his given name, she was his confidant but the others…

She was bought back from her internal observations by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Glancing around she found four pairs of eyes directed towards her, thinking quickly she stood up and brushed herself down, avoiding Jack's glare, she remarked.

"Isn't it about time we got back to work, Owen, you and Ianto need to collect the third tent and Tosh where are the rest of the tent pegs?" Then after giving Jack a bright smile she sauntered off after her team-mates.

Watching Tosh gingerly holding the tent pole for Owen to whack, Gwen heaved a sigh and remarked. "Not like that Tosh." And after snatching the peg away from the smaller woman, she knelt down at Owen's feet and positioned the peg. After shaking his head at her audacity Owen caught Tosh's eye and rolled his eyes, gesturing towards Gwen's lowered head with his mallet and receiving a firm headshake from Tosh in return.

Jack sat back and watched.

After a short time, with a minimum amount of fuss and no bodily damage done, the last tent was finally up. Now they needed firewood.

Jack, wanting to spend a little alone time with Ianto and seeing the collecting of firewood an answer, he stood up and announced.

"Okay, we now need firewood. Ianto, with me." Ianto looked up from his rummaging through the SUV and quickly rose to his feet to follow Jack.

Gwen watched with narrowed eyes as the two men walked away with Ianto surreptitiously taking Jack's hand. Coming to a decision she ran after them calling out, "Jack! Ianto! Wait up!" When the stopped and turned she reached them, manoeuvring between them and after linking arms continued. "Three people are better than two, we'll be finished in no time." The two men exchanged looks over her head as she continued to waffle on about this and that. Reaching the brush they split up to gather the firewood. Jack watched sadly as Ianto bent over to gather up some twigs, until he was bought back to himself by Gwen shaking him.

"Jack! Jack! Are you okay?"

Looking down at her and suppressing snapping back, she wasn't to know. Jack smiled and replied, "I'm fine." Looking down at the pile of twigs, he continued, "I'd say we've got enough for now, let's get back to camp." Gazing at the sunset of red's and gold's and thinking of the lost opportunity of some Ianto time, Jack turned back to camp with Ianto and Gwen bringing up the rear.

Arriving back at camp, Jack quickly set about starting a fire while Ianto resumed his rummaging in the SUV.

"Gwen, did you pack the coffee like I asked?"

Gwen glanced up and nodded gesturing towards the large box Ianto had been searching through. "It's in there."

Looking somewhat perplexed and combing his fingers through his hair, Ianto answered, "All I can find is your decaf."

Gwen shrugged and replied, "That was all I could find. Really Ianto you should keep you kitchen in better order."

All chatter stopped… and Ianto felt three pairs of eyes on him. Closing his own eyes in response and counting to ten, Ianto shakes his head not even bothering to mention the fact she would have to go past their coffee to reach her own.

Holding the jar between his thumb and forefinger he announced to the general populace, "I'll see what I can do with THIS, apologies in advance for the taste, but I'm not a miracle worker." And with a parting glare at Gwen he stalked off holding the jar almost as if it were a slug.

*****************

Sometime later, Jack leaned back is his chair and surveyed his team. Ianto was still staring morosely at his coffee cup. Tosh and Owen were murmuring to each other, heads so close that they were almost touching and Gwen seemed to be deep in thought. As Jack watched a slow smile crossed her face.

"Do you know I almost feel like a déjà vu moment coming on." Noticing the glares thrown her way, she continued. "oh don't worry I'm not going to ask about the last kiss."

"Probably because you know you won't like the answer." Ianto murmured earning him a grin from Jack in response.

Pointedly ignoring him, Gwen continued, "No I wondered what everyone was doing for Valentine's Day?"

Exchanging a look with Owen, Tosh asked, "How exactly is that different from asking us who our last kiss was?"

Gwen shrugged and said excitedly, "Rhys is taking me to a really fancy restaurant. I can't wait! What about you, Tosh?"

Tosh shook her head and glanced down, Owen's eyes narrowed and he replied, Tosh and I are taking in a West End show and then spending the night in London at my favourite hotel."

Tosh looked up and smiled, "You never told me."

Owen glared at Gwen and replied, "It was supposed to be a surprise."

Gwen couldn't help but gape. "I-I didn't realise, you two are dating?"

Smirking at the astonishment in her voice, Owen answered, "Yeah, normally relationships in the workplace are a bad idea, but, Tosh is special."

Before she could reply a sotto-voice coming from Jack remarked, "So is Ianto." And then in a louder voice he continued, "Ianto and I are going to Paris for the weekend, we're having a romantic dinner in the Eiffel tower followed by a carriage ride along the Champs Elysees.

"You can't be away from the rift for the entire weekend. What if the rift goes off?"

Jack smiled softly at Ianto as he answered, "I called in a few favours, we're covered and an uninterrupted weekend alone with Ianto awaits."

****

Sometime later after the sun had set and they had all politely had one very small cup full each of Gwen's vile concoction that had the nerve to be labelled as 'coffee', the team was in a circle around the newly assembled fire.

"Oh alright then if we're going to do this, and its not like we have a choice in the matter," Owen started giving Jack a glare to show his contempt of the situation, "why don't we go the whole hog…"

"You have marshmallows on a stick what more could you want?" Tosh smiled and gave him a nudge in the side as she reached for her own.

"What were you going to suggest?" Ianto asked as he lay his head against Jack's shoulder, enjoying the warmth from the fire and Jack.

"Well…not to get too hung up on work but…" Owen drew out until everyone groaned in annoyance, "ok getting in the spirit of- whatever this is- I was thinking we each tell a ghost story. And not one that actually happened before you open your mouth Jack." Owen smirked as Jack pouted.

"Ghost stories?" Gwen said sceptically, "Owen you're such a child a times."

"Being child-like at times isn't a bad thing." Tosh supplied and Ianto nodded his agreement, entwining his and Jacks fingers.

"But we see all that stuff on work I doubt a story about a ghost is going to scare us."

"It's… a… game." Owen said slowly as if to a very young child.

Gwen glared and waved her hand nonchalantly for Owen to continue.

"Ready? Prepared to be scared shi-" Owen began to say to be stopped by Ianto clearing his throat, "-out of your wits then…"

Owen finished his story; looking impressed with himself as three of his friends applauded his efforts. The sky began to clear, sending a chill through everyone, Tosh snuggled up to Owen and Jack opened his coat and encompassed Ianto in his material clad arm. Gwen shuffled closer to the fire on her chair.

"Who's next?" Tosh asked.

"I've just gotten comfortable," Ianto said with a blissful sigh, "we'll go clockwise so your next Tosh."

"Fine," Tosh said "but if I don't get to snuggle when I telling it neither do you." She said holding out her hand which Ianto shook to seal their deal.

~…~

"Oh come on! It's not that scary." Tosh laughed and the four very pale faces around her,

"My grandmother told me it all the time as a child and I loved it."

She got four slightly scared faces looking back, "You next Ianto." Tosh smiled and took a perverse pleasure in seeing Ianto detangle himself from Jack, which neither looked happy about. Gwen on the other hand…

"Well I can't promise this will be as disturbing as Tosh's' story but…"

Halfway through Gwen groaned, "Oh no not this one Ianto, we were told that one in school."

"What's your point Gwen?" Jack snapped at her having being incredibly rude and broken the atmosphere for everyone.

"It's a rubbish story Jack."

"I was enjoying it." He shot back with a glare.

"Gwen shut your mouth and let him finish." Owen scolded, "You had the grace- although where that came from I don't know- to sit through mine and Tosh's stories."

"We're low on firewood Gwen; maybe you should go find some seeing how you were so eager the last time." Ianto said and held his unnerving steady gaze.

Gwen stomped off in a huff.

~…~

"You're shittin' us Harkness!" Owen protested as Jack's story came to a close. "That's no ghost story, knowing you that probably happened."

"Well it hasn't happened yet…"Jack said looking slightly guilty.

"You and you're bloody time travelling." Owen said greatly annoyed.

"Oh stop pouting Owen." Ianto smiled, "you've got to admit it was good."

"Not. The. Point Ianto." Owen said still sour, much like Gwen's decaf. "Oh good you're back just in time for your turn." Owen smiled sadistically at Gwen as she came back with an armful of wood.

"I don't tell ghost stories Owen…" Gwen replied as she unceremoniously dropped the wood by the fire.

"God you have to be bloody awkward don't you." Owen grumbled and Gwen shrugged.

"Alright fine, we'll bow down to you once again. It doesn't have to be a ghost story; just something scary and since Jack's already told a will-be-true-one-day story you can tell what you like."

Gwen brightened at getting free reign "Thanks Jack." She said with a wink in his direction, thinking he had done it for her. Ianto shot her a murderous look and gripped Jack's hand tighter.

"Ok firstly hands up who's seen the new Johnny Depp film?" Gwen asked, no-one raised their hands, "Well it's the Sweeny Todd musical…"

"What's this got to do with the price of bacon?" Owen asked; everyone one gave him a confused look, "it's a saying!"

"You said anything." Gwen said with glee, "anyway the story is tragic a man with a family who gets torn away from the woman he loves-" Gwen recited and again looked towards Jack, "and his child, he comes back years later to find she is dead and his daughter imprisoned."

Owen made a loud snoring sound, Tosh giggled and slapped his arm.

"And he sets about avenging his wife's death, and we all know how Sweeney Todd goes don't we? All those men butchered by a razor to the throat; and the film doesn't censor it, you see it all; the blood and the…meat for the pies. I mean how close to death they came; one flick of the blade at the throat and then nothing…" Gwen looked around her; Tosh was looking at the floor Owen was comforting her quietly. Ianto looked ill. "Tim Burton did a great job. It's very violent but you should all go see it. The musical numbers are great too; superbly choreographed."

"If you'll excuse me I think I need to…I just need to walk for a while…" Ianto said quietly and he stood, Jack did also.

"Ianto-"

"No, please. I just need a minute." Ianto replied and zipped up his coat leaving the light and warmth behind.

When Ianto was out of sight, which didn't take much in the darkness Jack whipped around to Gwen who was now cradling a cup of decaf in her hands.

"Are you stupid or something? What the hell was that?"

"What?" Gwen replied unknowingly.

"You know damn well what Gwen. We all know what Ianto feel like considering what happened the last time we were out here. And you- you talk about *that* of all things; People getting butchered for meat."

"Oh shit I'm so sorry! I didn't think…I just-just…"

"Save it Gwen. I don't want to hear it." Jack said with unforeseen anger. "I'm going to find Ianto." He told the others and swooped off into the night.

"You really fucked the dog there Gwen." Owen said as he continued to rub Tosh's back in a possessive but caring manner as she took a few deep breaths.

*******************

Jack found Ianto not far away leaning against the SUV taking in deep gulps of the night air. Approaching him he encircled his partner and rested his chin on the younger man's shoulder, "She didn't mean it, she just forgot."

Ianto sighed and after turning within Jack's arms he rested his forehead against Jack's, he replied, "I don't feel like socialising any more. Can we stay here?"

Jack tightened his arms around his partner and called out to the rest of the team, "Guys we're staying here for a while, play nice."

********************

Half an hour later, Gwen, tired of being the proverbial piggy in the middle stood up and nonchalantly ambled towards the SUV. As she got closer to where the SUV was parked, she swore she could hear voices, barely above a whisper. Trust and intimacy with each syllable "And there…that's where I grew up…" Reaching the SUV and peering inside she was surprised to find it empty until a voice above her said.

"Can I help you with something?"

Stepping back she saw the outline of two figures in the dark lying side by side on the roof of the SUV.

"What are you doing up there?"

"Stargazing. I'm showing Ianto some of the places I've seen. Now Gwen, what do you want."

"I was looking for you. I was worried."

"Well as you can see we're fine so you don't have to worry now do you?"

Stepping back with her nose thoroughly put out of joint, Gwen stalked off to the tent she shared with Tosh.

Lying with his head resting on Jack's shoulder, Ianto mused, "Do you think she did that deliberately."

Shaking his head, Jack replied, "No. she wouldn't dare."

*******************

Midnight and all the team are asleep…well not everyone

Tosh sat outside the tent swathed completely by the sleeping bag. Cursing the fact that A)Jack was an idiot who chooses early February for a 'team bonding (in the freezing cold) exercise' and B)The fact that as a woman she had to share a tent with Gwen 'I don't snore like a pneumatic drill' Cooper. Coming to the decision that sharing a little body heat with Owen would be a good thing and gathering the sleeping bag up round her shoulders Tosh bunny hopped towards the doctor's tent.

Peering inside she was disappointed to find the tent empty and glancing towards the third and final tent she was surprised and a little curious to see what appeared like torchlight shinning through the fabric and figures moving around inside.

Bunny hopping over twigs and not even thinking about what the bottom of her sleeping bag looks like, she made her way to the tent and taking a deep breath stuck her head through the flap.

Owen and Ianto were seated on the camp beds and Jack was pacing, all three looked up at her entrance and she was welcomed with three matching smiles and beckoning hands. Hopping in and ignoring the grin Jack threw at her she settled herself down next to Owen and asked, "What's going on?"

The grin left Jack's face as he replied, We've been comparing notes on our absent co-worker."

"Well I'll tell you one thing, she snores loud enough to wake the dead."

Blushing slightly, Owen coughed and muttered, "Yeah sorry, I should have warned you."

Surprised at the words and shocked at the blush, Tosh just shrugged and replied, "So what have you realised?"

Jack spoke up first.

"Ianto and I had noticed that she couldn't seem to want let us have some alone time, I thought her constant interruptions were just a coincidences but Owen here feels differently as does Ianto."

"I have to agree with both Owen and Ianto, Jack, she's a cunning one, her Valentine question proves that. Which reminds me Owen, you didn't have to make something up for me, but thank you."

"I wasn't making it up. The tickets are already booked."

"But we're not even dating."

"Yet…"

Clapping his hands to get their attentions Jack said, We've also been discussing what to do about her, and Ianto suggested something."

Taking up where Jack had left off Ianto continued, "She needs to realise that the world does not revolve around her. Now, there's a hotel not too far away from here."

Tosh looked shocked, "You're not implying that we leave her here, alone."

"There's a spa."

Gazing at Ianto, Tosh grinned, "Ooh, my Achilles heel Ianto, you're evil." Then using Owen as a prop she climbed to her feet and continued, "so are we going or what?"

******************

30 stealth filled minutes later and the team was ready, possessions had been collected up and installed in the SUV. After a hurried discussion on the loudness of the SUV's engine a grinning Tosh sat behind the wheel as the three men pushed with all their might to move the heavy car away from the clearing. Once it was a respectable distance away the men tumbled inside and Tosh gunned the engine.

*******************

Several hours later Gwen woke up from one of the best night sleep's she had had in ages, stumbling out of her tent, she stretched and yawned before looking around. Noticing that the SUV was missing Gwen was overcome with panic. "JACK!..OWEN!..ANYBODY!…" Receiving no response and with no signal on her phone Gwen set off in the direction of the SUV's tire tracks.

15 miles away in the 'Hideaway Hall' Tosh relaxed back in the Jacuzzi and after clinking her glass of champagne with Owen's she took a sip. She wondered how Jack and Ianto were doing as they had disappeared not long after checking in and hadn't been heard from since.

Comments

[estarcollector.livejournal.com]

You two just pulled me out of a very bad mood; great job! The image of the boys pushing the SUV so as not to wake the cow....*sporfles*

[haces222.livejournal.com]

Thank you I thought people could do with cheering up

[kellysaysrawrrx.livejournal.com]

haha i love it XD

[haces222.livejournal.com]

Thank you

[nhj28.livejournal.com]

Brilliant :) So many moments made me laugh, she deserved what she got and worse!

[haces222.livejournal.com]

She did and I love torturing her *evil cackle*

[love-jackianto.livejournal.com]

Oh, wonderful story. You really captured everything that irritates me about Gwen (her possessiveness of Jack, her inability to even consider how other people feel).

You also really captured everything I adore about Jack/Ianto. Loved the SUV roof scene, of course Gwen had to butt-in.

Loved the Tosh/Owen bits, as well.'"I wasn't making it up. The tickets are already booked."

"But we're not even dating."

"Yet…"' Awwwe

'She wondered how Jack and Ianto were doing as they had disappeared not long after checking in and hadn't been heard from since.' Don't worry, Tosh. I'm sure they're doing just fine ;)

[haces222.livejournal.com]

I figured everyone would nneed a little cheering up after yesterday's episode ;)

Glad you liked it

[amythest-n-ice.livejournal.com]

Cough, choke, splutter! Love it soooooooooooooooooo much. Sequel where something EATS her as she is following the tracks, pleasness! *grin*

[haces222.livejournal.com]

I'd love to and we'll see, just worried that the team would feel guilty

[amythest-n-ice.livejournal.com]

maybe they would feel guilty, for all of five seconds, until they remembered what a trite, opinionalted, self absorbed, strident harridan she was. lol.

I'll wait on tenter hooks to see if a sequel comes our way *looks hopeful*

[chester-kat.livejournal.com]

*evil grin*

Now THAT's a story. =)

[adafrog.livejournal.com]

Oh, so very awesome. thanks.

[jerbearthompson.livejournal.com]

Brilliant, BRILLIANT.

[jsks.livejournal.com]

wonderful. i would one like to hear tosh's story if only because it shook up jack.

[bk_forever]

LMAO! Love it! Bet Gwen's wearing heels that are totally unsuitable for a long walk and she'll never track the SUV once it hits the road anyway. The team will pick her up when it's time to go home. They wouldn't just leave her cluttering up the countryside, and anyway they'll need to collect the tents.

[excentric397.livejournal.com]

I'd leave her. They can always buy new items.

[bk_forever]

I wonder how long it would take her to notice they'd left without her...

[excentric397.livejournal.com]

LOL

[black59.livejournal.com]

I'm in love with this story. It really fits the title of your journal!
I'm not going complain Gwen, on the contrary, I applauded, she is so self-centered.